Continued from: Happier Times Will Come.

There is so much in store for today!

Feed the horses, groom them, talk to the gelding about not being afraid of his saddle pad. Rubbing it all over him and telling him "you are such a good boy!" and that he likes this saddle pad on his back. "No, Josh, you cannot eat the saddle pad!"
I am beginning to wonder why he has to chew on everything. Then realize, isn't that what babies do? Everything they smell, they eat. Yes, tasting things and smelling things to learn what life is all about. Must be why he likes to chew on my coat. To get to know my scent. Well, hmm then I realize something else!! Since he is a baby, going on five this year, he must be teething. I touch his nose so he'll smile and open his mouth. YES! That's it! I see he is getting new teeth. That is why he is chewing everything to bits and pieces. Time to call the dentist....oh boy...I cannot wait to get that bill!

Later in the day I try again to get him to walk through water. (He will eventually, when he is ready) When he decides he can trust me he will walk in the water.
No, he decided he would rather run me over than walk through the puddle that is not even up to my ankles!!! OK horse! You are a 1000+ pound animal and you are afraid of a little puddle? So in order to get him not to run me over I bend my arm and stick my elbow straight out so it is touching him just below his whithers. He feels it there as he presses into it and he knows he is not going to win the fight with me. I am the boss and am much bigger than him because I carry a whip. (I use the whip only in times of trouble, no worries) I talk to him, telling him it's OK. One day you'll walk in the water. Hours upon endless hours we could keep going through this and one day he will understand.

He thinks there are big green boogie monsters in the trees just past the field. Big scary monsters that only eat big black geldings. The other two horses are mares, one brown and the other white. They are older nearing their 20's. They snicker at Josh for being such a baby. They let him know he is the baby, every chance they get!

I have learned a lot and come to more than my share of realizations in my life with horses.
Horses that trust you will follow you no matter what puddle or pile of poop you stand in.

Thanks for reading.

Happier times will come.

Spirits and souls change as our time in life flies by in the wind.
Sadness overcomes me and I grieve for things that will never again happen in my life. It feels strange and scary at the same time. Being in mid-life is tough as it is. Coming up to new life happenings is interesting, scary, and I try to accept newness with open arms. Being happy with this life I have created is one thing. Try being happy knowing that I will never have to worry about being asked to dance by a young handsome person, going on a first date, being sent flowers for the first time by a new love. Looking for a date online will never happen. I feel so close to death when I think about these enjoyable, scary and never again events.

What is there to come in the last half of this life?

Whatever I can add to my life to make it interesting and create my own happiness. As I see the trees swaying in the wind thoughts of death come to me. This is the last place I am ever going to live, the last place I am ever going to own, the last place I will call home. Yup, this is it. I shrug my shoulders and do not know what else to say to myself.

Trying to change the thoughts that swirl in my head. Telling myself, "You are still young. You have so much ahead of you in this life and so much more to learn!" Then I start to argue with myself, "but life is half over" "now what do I do?" "what's next?" Is there something I can do to help someone? Is there someone that can help me? My mind goes on and on until the wee hours of the morning. I wake in the tomorrow that I thought would never come.

What is in store for today?

I slowly slide my foot out from under the blankets, oh geeez it's cold, bring my foot back under the warm covers. Close my eyes and try to remember what I was dreaming about. Little bits of the dream come back to surface. Eyes open wide, no I can't think about that again.

Then I decide, if I am quick enough, I can grab my clothes and run into the bathroom where it is warm. OK 1,2,3....throw the blankets aside get up grab clothes run as fast as I can down the hall to the bathroom . (Trailer life is nice, every room is close and small, not much cleaning and more time for me and the animals) Not far to run mind you, but the floor is so cold. Toss my clothes in front of the heater and stand there a minute to try to warm my toes.

My brain is foggy and my body is stiff and achy. I have to eat something or faint. Get dressed in nice warm clothes. Head to the kitchen and the dogs are trying to get there before me. (it is tough walking in a narrow hallway with three dogs trying to get to the kitchen before you.)

Fill the kettle and think about blogging, groups, and what I will write about today. Nothing comes to mind, but everything pops into my head about what I don't want to think about. Death, sadness, the cold weather.

To be continued...

Top 10 Things I look for in a blog.

There are a gazillion blogs, of course you know that. When I search blogs these are the things I look for:

1. Uniquely designed blogs. If I spot something nice, first thing to do is e-mail the blog owner and ask about the "thing" I spotted. :) Might find something similar to use on my blog. (but never the exact "thing" as what they have) Because we are all unique beings!
2. Readable fonts. We should not have to strain our eyes.
3. Links that work!
4. Grammar, spelling and overall presentation.
5. A wide range of color. Colors make me happy.
6. Friendly comments.
7. Pleasant bloggers who I can add to my links.
8. Unique funny writers.
9. A thinkers blog.
10. Bloggers who reply to their comments.

Of course I am not going to find all ten of my list in one blog. BUT I am going to keep searching. All of these things on my list are not in my blog yet! Once I figure out how to add MORE fonts and different templates life will be grand!